Death by comparison: How to protect your joy on social media

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” — Theodore Roosevelt

It’s 6 p.m. I settle into my couch, content. The scent of homemade pasta sauce lingers. My dog and I enjoyed a long, sunny walk. My to-do list? Completely checked off.

Then, I start scrolling.

In seconds, my mood shifts. A fellow agent, glowing in silver pants, celebrates a big win. Suddenly, my great day feels...less. Did I do enough? Am I enough?

The Comparison Trap

Social media moves fast—our brains process images in just 13 milliseconds. That’s all it takes for comparison to steal our joy.

Psychologist Leon Festinger identified two types of comparison:

• Upward Comparison – Looking at those ahead of us for inspiration.
• Downward Comparison – Looking at those behind us to feel better.

I’ve spent years measuring myself against the best. Sometimes it drives me; other times, it drains me. Social media magnifies this, distorting reality and turning motivation into self-doubt.

The Dark Side of Social Comparison

What we see online is curated, not real life. Constant exposure can lead to social comparison syndrome, with effects like:
✅ Low self-esteem
✅ Anxiety & depression
✅ Envy & resentment
✅ Feelings of inadequacy
✅ Social isolation

Even if you rarely scroll, societal pressure is everywhere. So how do we stop comparison from robbing our happiness?

5 Ways to Manage Social Comparison

1️⃣ Pause Before Scrolling
Before diving into social media, take a deep breath. Ask yourself: Is this how I want to spend my time? A quick pause can help you make a conscious choice.

2️⃣ Limit Screen Time
Track how much time you spend scrolling. Set boundaries. The goal isn’t to eliminate social media, but to control its impact on your mindset.

3️⃣ Create More Than You Consume
I post daily, but I limit my scrolling to just five posts. This lets me engage without falling into the comparison trap.

4️⃣ Practice Gratitude
Comparison thrives on a not enough mindset. Gratitude is the antidote. Write down three things you’re grateful for each day—it shifts your focus to what you have.

5️⃣ Set Goals & Celebrate Wins
Your journey is yours. Set realistic goals and celebrate milestones—big or small. When I hit a goal, I treat myself, whether it’s a nice dinner or a new toy for my dog.

Own Your Unique Path

Real estate success isn’t one-size-fits-all. Instead of comparing, embrace what makes you different. Lift others up. Celebrate your progress.

And most importantly—don’t let comparison steal your joy.